I'm sorry, I have been missing in action for a whole month. Much has been going on during this time. And hopefully I will soon get to tell you all about it.
One thing that has been interesting me during the last month is how my definition of myself has been changing.
Some of our definitions we use for ourselves are given to us by others or our society, some at birth. The first question of the new parent..is it a girl/boy? The first definition. Male/female. This is so important that friends and relatives send us cards proclaiming "It's A Girl!" Do they think we hadn't noticed?
Then more definitions arrive, daughter/son, tall/short, clever/what do we put here...well never mind, at least she's pretty. Or maybe she isn't. The labels arrive thick and fast, the fastest runner in the class, the one who can draw, the one who is last in everything. And our definitions of ourself are made up from these labels. They accumulate as life goes on, mother, fat woman, reliable friend....
So who are you? Who am I? And what happens when we choose to change the definition of ourselves? Before that day in March 2012 when I decided to run for 1 minute on the beach, my definition of myself went something like this.
Fat woman, always on a diet, dutiful daughter, wife, mother.
Apart from the fat bit, my definition of myself was framed in my relationship to others. I am a fat woman whose identity is as an adjunct to others. There is no place for who I am...other than fat of course.
Well, I have decided to redefine myself.
I am an athlete.
I was about to justify this statement, so say I have completed 3 races, a 5k road race, a 10k road race and a 10k trail race. I was going to tell you how many hours, or days I train, the distances I run...but this is not necessary. I am an athlete. This statement is enough. It stands alone. This is who I am and I do not have to justify it to anyone!
I am an athlete, who runs a successful home based business. Who is also a daughter, wife and mother. Who has successfully lost weight, that most difficult of challenges, and who will undoubtedly lose more. Who is happy. This is me.
